STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

5 GREAT SOLUTIONS

“I want to be like you”

The other day on my social media post, someone wrote, “I want to be like you.” It sounded very flattering at the time, but why would you want to be like someone else? Sometimes we compare ourselves and think someone else has a better life than us, happier, more money, life is easier for them, but that’s not always true.

Let’s face it. Society trains us to compare ourselves using “success” measures like age, beauty, money, weight, social status, marital status, etc. With thousands of beautiful and talented YouTubers, Instagram sensations, and snap chat stories to follow, social media can make us envious. Those minutes we spend on social media sites, we get bombarded with jealousy-stirring stimuli. This article by Susan Biali Hass M.D. has great pointers on how to break the habit of being insecure.

SOCIAL MEDIA

I have been trying to build up my social media following but get overwhelmed because many of the accounts are fitness or beauty with young, beautiful girls, yet I know most of them have used filters to touch-up. There is absolutely nothing wrong with those accounts, but the truth is, most of the time, you can’t help but compare yourself to what you see on them. They can make you feel as though I’m not rich, beautiful, or educated enough. My children aren’t as successful as theirs, and I don’t take vacations or have life experiences that are as exciting as theirs. 

You compare yourself to those on your account, but then you walk down the street, and someone else is probably wishing they were more like you. 

We all love looking good, but who passed the law saying women have to be perfectly manicured with perfect hair and waxed 24/7? And just one negative comparing thought can snowball and leave you feeling bad. You don’t need to be that person, and you don’t need to be jealous. Most of us are not supermodels but trust me, we are beautiful the way we are. Just try to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

I was bullied and teased growing up; therefore, I thought that I was ugly and stupid I have struggled with low self-esteem a lot of my life.

Some things I’ve learned that helped me were:

• • 1. Create positive affirmations to counteract negative thoughts. Some might be: I will not compare myself to strangers, I am loved, I am enough, I am strong, I am grateful for everything in my life. Write your affirmations down and put them on your mirror or desk.
    2. Writing a list of things you’ve accomplished this year. For example, I got more than 10,000 followers on Twitter, raised money for MS by riding 150 miles on a bicycle, and saved money by refinancing my house, etc.
    3. Have a positive outlook. Maybe things are difficult right now, especially during Covid. Just remember, this too shall pass. Be grateful for the good in your life. Have a positive outlook and hang out with positive people will make you feel better.
    4. Remind yourself that other peoples “outsides” don’t compare to your “insides.” You can’t judge their outward appearance to the reality of their life.
    5. Remove yourself off Instagram, Facebook, etc., for a couple of days and see how you feel. If you’re on social media and catch yourself in the moment of comparison. Stop. 

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I have to admit it’s sometimes hard to follow these tactics. A while back, I left work, waiting for my old car in the parking garage, when a beautiful, young co-worker pulled out in a big, new, black Mercedes. I have to admit I was jealous as I watched her drive off. When my dented car with 100,000 miles pulled up, I felt embarrassed to get in. I quickly tried some of the tips that I wrote above, “I am enough. I am grateful I have a car.” I said to myself, “Cindy, you will have a nice, new car someday.”

A Positive Effect

One positive effect of comparison is to know that something more significant or more rewarding is possible because you see it in someone else, and a role model is giving you a blueprint for getting there.

Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way. Yes, we are sometimes “not so pretty,” we all carry baggage but embrace your uniqueness; that’s what makes you special.